User:-=Slimed Hero Ray=-
| Marshall Ryan Kemp | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Born | October 22, 1984 |
| Died | October 9, 2015 (aged 30) |
| Residence | Bowling Green, KY USA |
| Years active | 7 years |
Born the poor immigrant son of a Filipino merchant, I grew up on the rough streets of Hershey, Pennsylvania and earned the trust of a ruthless gang of Twizzler snorters. The ladies were fine, and the bling was substantial, but after I saw a guy overdose on Amazing Fruit, I decided that the life of a licorice smuggler was not the life for me. A couple years later I decided to enlist, and fought bravely along side RC cola in the Cola Wars. During which I lost my left hand, (turns out it was up my sleeve). I tell you if I live to be 100, I'll never forget the murderous look I saw in New Coke's eyes as he looted and burned that orphanage. After being discharged for failure to battle wearing pants, I started a small carpet cleaning business, and married my lovely wife, (I forget her name, but I want to say it's Carol, or maybe Rhoda, let's just call her Bass Boat...). I spent most of my free time either going to comic book conventions dressed as Jonathan Kent, or wondering where my life went wrong. I'll guess I'll stop here as someone is at my door. I hope it's a clown. I could use a party...
Favorite movies: Ghostbusters, Blues Brothers, The Jerk, and MST3K: The Movie
Favorite music: Metalingus by Alter Bridge, Ghostbusters, by Ray Parker Jr., The theme song from "The Adventures of Superman", Eat Your Heart Out Rick Springfield by Jimmy Hart, The Twisted Sister Version of Oh Come All Ye Faithful, and Do the Mario by Captain Lou Albano...
Favorite TV shows: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Arrested Development, Psych, Stella, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Eureka, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Venture Brothers, My Name is Earl, The Office, and Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law...
Favorite books: The Art of War, Casino Royale, The Prince by Machiavelli, Mike Nelson's Mind Over Matters, Nothing's Sacred & Me of Little Faith (both by Lewis Black), and Richard Scarry's What Do People Do All Day...